July 2011
4 posts
Vacuum: Part 1
Rental car companies are the devil. Really, and you’ll find why I think that in a second. Also, I’m going to separate this post into two parts, since it’s kind of a long story.
It was a cold, cloudy, December morning, and I was in the garage of the car rental office I worked at. Here I was at 7 am, dressed in a business suit, freezing my ass off, and scrubbing down a dirty ass...
Sweet Dreams!
Back from college during winter break of my Sophmore year, I was excited about Christmas dinner. Every year, my mom loves to have friends and family over to celebrate. But I think the friends and family love coming over more. They eat and drink as much as they want, and some how every year at the end of the night, our house becomes drunk kareoke night. A few years back, I remember video recording...
June 2011
14 posts
Joyride
Almost every year, my parents love to invite friends and family over for the Fourth of July. Sometimes I’m cool with it, but I hate the clean up during and afterwards. On this particular 4th, I was about 22 at the time, and didn’t feel like cleaning after anyone; especially my mom’s best friend’s husband. He’s such an asshole. He eats up all the fucking ribs and then lays up like he owns the...
Tea bagging
Have you ever had to hold in diarrhea? I have, and obviously it doesn’t feel good. Now, if you don’t like where this story is going, then you can stop reading now. If you’re not a wuss, you can keep reading :-)
So, the night before my 9th grade finals I was busy watching tv and being a regular teenager. As a budding slacker, I didn’t have time to actually study (side note:...
Relapse
Okay, so 5 Fridays ago I think I may have actually relapsed into my old slacker ways. I woke up like any other normal day to go to work. However, I had this incredible urge to climb back into bed. I really wasn’t feeling it. Perhaps it was a night out with friends the previous night that gave me a huge case of the “fuck offs” this particular morning. I wanted to call off so bad, but I...
Mustang Sally
Two years after college, I landed a full-time job with a popular car rental company. I had no idea that working for them would be like spending two years in hell. I absolutely had no time for anything. I worked 60 hours, six days a week and NEVER had a real lunch break. I was given the title of “Manager Associate”, but my job consisted of renting cars to the worst customers known to man, picking...
Wake Me up Later
Not even three days after my 17th birthday, my parents decided that I should get a job for the summer. I mean, I was cool with it. I thought it was time for me to stop getting allowance from the rents’ anyway. Working for them doing chores at home for $2.00/hr wasn’t cutting it anymore.
My mom marched me up to the nearest department store, and I walked out that day with a job. I was now a...
Form 2
First of all, I don’t condone cheating and you can lose everything if you’re caught. However, as the slacker that I was, I looked for ways to get a good grade while putting in minimal or no work.
As a junior in college, I enrolled in a course that was a requirement, and was pretty difficult. I sat in class not knowing what the hell the professor was talking about. I could have asked him to explain...
Going Down the Line
If you were a high school band geek like I was, you knew what “going down the line” meant. For those of you who were popular and had friends that weren’t all in National Honor Society, then this might go over your head a little. Looking back, it’s so stupid to me to make each person in a band section play a piece of music by themselves in front of everyone. Not only does this make the person...
What's a Slacker?
First off, what the hell am I talking about? Here’s a clear cut definition if anyone is confused. Enjoy!
slack·er/ˈslakər/Noun
1. A person who avoids work or effort.
2. A person who evades military service.
LOL Didn’t know if you evade military service, you’re a slacker. I guess I know quite a few “slackers” then. You know who you are!
